Your Marriage License
Review every line and box checked for accuracy before you leave the issuing Clerk's desk. This is a permanent record. Mistakes happen.
Designate a responsible person to bring the license and paperwork to the rehearsal or ceremony. You aren't legally married until the license is signed. This may be the same person that you designate to hold the keepsake copies of your ceremony, and pay the Reverend and other vendors.
Connecticut does not require witnesses to sign the license. I, however, make a beautiful Marriage Certificate for you to have as a keepsake and I provide two lines for witnesses. Often the maid or matron of honor and best man sign this certificate. I sign the license you give me and mail it to the town or city where the marriage took place. County Recorders have different requirements for obtaining certified copies of your license. Be sure to ask if you can pre-pay for them to send you the certified copy; otherwise you would pick it up a week or two after the wedding.
It's nice to face each other during your ceremony and to focus your attention on each other. This also allows your guests to see your faces rather than just your backs. Don't worry about memorizing vows! You will repeat after me so you are able to look at one another instead of reading from a piece of paper. I provide a selection of readings and vows to choose from. It is customary to choose three readings...to be read by myself, friends or family members.
Rings - For Grooms
Put a drop of hand cream or oil on your ring finger. For some reason, men's hands seem to swell and the ring is often difficult to slide onto the finger. This will make it easier.
Rings - For Brides
If you don't have your engagement ring and your wedding ring soldered together before the ceremony, place your engagement ring on your right hand before the ceremony so that your fiancé can put your wedding ring on your wedding ring finger. You can add your engagement ring to it after the ceremony.
Picking a Location
If you pick an outdoor site be sure to test the acoustics and what the weather will be like at that time of the year and hour of the day. If you want to be heard by everyone, you may need to arrange for a sound system. Consider how easy or difficult it is to access this outdoor site for everyone (young and old) and what the parking will be like. If you book a hall or any other indoor setting, you may need to book a year in advance. Ask Reverend O’Connor for recommendations as she is on the Preferred Vendors list in many beautiful venues.
If you are going to walk down an aisle, be given away, and/or have a wedding party, it's a good idea to have a rehearsal to be certain everyone knows they have to show up on time and what order they walk in and where they stand. You want your ceremony to go smoothly on your special day and this is one way of assuring this.
Relaxing On Your Big Day
Brides and grooms are often very nervous on their wedding day -so much planning and preparation and now this is it! It's very helpful to have a few relaxation techniques to draw upon when you are feeling anxious. Ask Reverend O'Connor to teach you some simple, highly effective ways of turning your anxiety into exhilaration and your nervousness into serene anticipation.
If you do not pay your vendors beforehand (which saves you from dealing with it at the ceremony), designate someone to pay the vendors that day. You should be free of any responsibilities. This is your time to celebrate the biggest day of your lives.
I like to call it “relationship empowerment” -- as an excellent way to get your marriage off to a great start. Believe it or not love is not enough! Communicating successfully with one another, resolving conflicts in a constructive way, practicing the art of gracious compromise are all learned skills. Resolving differences in spending patterns, housekeeping, interacting with in-laws, and blending families are all issues that can cause unnecessary strain on an otherwise strong marriage. Relationship empowerment help you to take these possible areas of conflict and turn them into opportunities for growth, harmony and greater closeness. It's the best investment you can make in your marriage. Read about Reverend O'Connor’s Relationship/Couple’s Empowerment Program.
Celebrate Your Wonderful Marriage
If you remember what was said in your ceremony and what you promised each other in your vows, and keep those commitments, you will have the wonderful marriage you are now planning.
Serving All of Connecticut
Copyright 2016 © Judith O'Connor All Rights Reserved
Reverend Judith O'Connor